we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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