Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
