He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I have post one night stand depression
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