Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
