I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
