I accidentally had phone sex last night
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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