I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
