Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
