That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
It's rum buckets o'clock
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize