so explain again why im purple
no
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
