Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
