I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
ok first of all what the fuck
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
