The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
