One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize