i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm at about main and main street
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
