Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
