My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
