Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
