I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
