i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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