I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize