You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
