Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
