he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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