I'd wear matching sweaters with you
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
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