Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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