just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
