Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
50% drunk capacity currently
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
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