remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
