sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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