if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
i believe in u and ur pee
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize