i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
