I feel like I'm in dance class right now
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize