you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize