you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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