Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
