people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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