Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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