How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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