woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
it glows. i had to have it.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
