What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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