Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
