He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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