Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
