just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
