you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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