summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
