The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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