What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I think my vagina is haunted
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
