btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
