She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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