its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
