It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
