I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
