I wannas sexs uuuuu
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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