some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
