i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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