what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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