He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
