That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
