It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
