im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
