I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize