would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
we should paint friendship bongs
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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