OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
