David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Im part way to drunk.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
