you traded sex for a burrito?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
