eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
